i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
