We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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