any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
