Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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