I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
