I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He felt like a one man threesome
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
