Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize