you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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