Already got asked if we're dating
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
