i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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