He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
