I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
