I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
