If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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