Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
