My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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