i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
this just has baby written all over it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
