i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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