I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
