pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I touched a dick in church today
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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