I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
