How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
