This girl is more easily done than said...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
