kristin has been a bad kristin
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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