sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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