how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
How's work?
Spinning.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize