well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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