omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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