you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
