Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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