No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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