i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
