You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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