i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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