Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
