yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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