You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
