nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize