I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just want to make out with him forever
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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