Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
