Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
