The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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