were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
