so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You took a bar mat shot.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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