Define "chronic" masturbator.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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