he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
