happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
