I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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