yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
