Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
