Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
