You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize