He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
