they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
