There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
