He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Come on in and take your pants off
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