Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
