Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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