Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
