So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
