Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
